On Friday (yesterday) we got a call from Mom that Papa wasn't doing too good. Very reminiscent of when Gramma passed away. We were supposed to be having a little party at our house with Brent, Alisa, kids, Mike and Olivia (since they were leaving back to Costa Rica the next week). So, we decided to wait to drive out until Sunday...and still have our gathering here in AZ on Sat.
However on Sat morning, Mom called and said that Papa's situation had progressed and she didn't think he would make it much longer. I called Brent and told him the party was cancelled and we were headed to CA. He was doing the same. He was packed & gone within minutes. We still had to shutdown the cooking and pack for the week. So, we were about an hour behind him.
Vince drove like a crazy person to get me to CA in time, as I felt like each minute was precious. When we got to CA, Papa was unresponsive...as he had been for most of the day. He was still alive though..."waiting for us", as I like to think. He was holding on. Dad was there saying his goodbyes to him when we got there. Brent and I both made it there and got our chance to say goodbye to him. Mom, Tina and Shelly had been there most of the day. About 10am, Mom "knew" and called us all to come. Unfortunately, Kenny was working and couldn't come out until Monday.
Within an hour of Brent & I getting there, Papa had passed....which is why I think he was waiting for us. No other reason for him to hold on all day, and then after we get there, to go. We were both so blessed and lucky to be able to be there by his side as he left us. It was another significant moment in my life that I will never forget. Being there when one of the most influential people I have ever known left this earth. Not many people get the opportunity to have such amazing & influential grandparents...who were there when you were born...and who you were able to be there when they passed on.
I know Papa is in a better place...and with Gramma...but it is pretty hard accepting the situation. Most people do not lose such important and significant people within such close proximity to each other. I think when Gramma passed away we were somewhat in a little bit of shock...and sooo worried about Papa that we were not able to start to grieve yet. Now, we can grieve...and grieve we all did.
I would like to say though, that I knew Papa...and I knew he was lonely and sad, and depressed that Gramma had left us. And I know he was holding on over these last few months just for her. He kept saying it wasn't right...that this was not how it was supposed to happen. I think though it happened as it was meant to. He has been her provider and protector for almost 60 years....and in the end, he took the brunt of the emotional pain of losing her...instead of her taking the pain of losing him. Not that he deserved it....it was just the unbelievable love he had for her that it happened like that, for him to continue to take care of her. He was always so worried about her being taken care of after he passed away...I think it was meant to be that she went first. He had the peace of knowing that he never left her....even in the end.
While we all brought him joy and happiness, his heart and his being was with Gramma. Now that she was gone, he felt at peace to go as well....and he did. He did it in his home, on his terms....surrounded by his family.....just as he would expect it.
It is unbelievable the similarities in the passing of them both though. Both right before Mothers & Fathers day....both right after their birthdays....both on a Sat....I could go on & on in the similarities...I counted 9 in total. Even though it is not fair to us left behind, it was how it was supposed to be. God meant for it to be this way... its a way that we will remember forever. Not because of how they passed...but because of how they lived.
No comments:
Post a Comment